SAR #16081

“The problem with lab rats is that most of them die.”

Miracles: Florida Republicans insist that defunding Planned Parenthood will not inconvenience any women, because they could go to dentists, school nurses, optometrists, podiatrists,and correctional facilities to get their birth control prescriptions, pre-natal care and other pregnancy related healthcare. This will hurt poor women, of course – that's the whole point. But they're likely to vote for Hillary...

The Lesser of Two Evils: Mitt Romney says he will vote for Cruz over Trump not because he supports Cruz but because he is marginally less disgusting. Well, that's not what Mitt said, but that's what he meant.

Size Matters: A California real estate agent has been sentenced to 14 years in prison for $30 million in mortgage fraud, while not a single Wall Street banker has gotten anything except bonuses for the same crime.

The Easy Buttons: Ever use one of those tiny apps for your smartphone that let you send you pictures to your desktop computer without using a physical cable connection? That's exactly how difficult is is for any competent spy service – and despite being a government agency, the NSA is quite competent – to take control of your phone, turn on the mike and camera and use it to monitor you whenever they wish. Your smartphone is a surveillance device that happens to provide phone service and Internet access. And it's not just you - Hillary, for example, is wholly owned by the NSA.

Fair's Fair: The Canadian parents who 'treated' their child's bacterial meningitis and emphysema, conditions routinely cured with antibiotics, with herbal teas and withheld medical care while watching him die are now on trial for killing him.

Now It Can Be Told: It is finally dawning on economists that trade agreements as least since NAFTA have shipped jobs overseas to the detriment of US workers and that the lost manufacturing jobs are never coming back. Ooops.

Housekeeping: President Obama will name Air Force General Lori Robinson as then next head of Northern Command – that's the military designation for North America. Typical, they try to do good by naming a woman to head a combat command and then put her in charge of the homeland.

Take That: A bill pending in New Jersey would make texting while walking and chewing gum illegal, punishable by a fine and or 15 days in jail. Letting them walk blindly into traffic would teach better lessons.

Theory Of The Crime? A Massachusetts couple is being charged with “reckless endangerment of a fetus” for cultivating marijuana in their home. A bit further south, Tampa's city council has voted to decriminalize marijuana, even for the pregnant.

Seizing The Moment: Turkey has determined that the Istambul bombing was the work of ISIS, so Erdogan will punish them by attacking Kurds.

Humanitarianism: The US Army is setting up equipment depots in several Asian countries, including Cambodia and Vietnam. According to General Dennis Via of the US Army Material Command, these “ prepositioned stocks are go-to-war equipment.” but the Pentagon insists the supplies are “primarily for humanitarian disaster relief operations.” Primarily. Perhaps that also explains why the US is going to co-locate forces at five more Philippine Air and Naval bases. This is the second enlargement of the US force presence in the Philippines in the last year.

Rounding Down: The District of Columbia is suing Kraft Heinz for claiming that their “100% Grated Parmesan Cheese” is 100% Parmesan cheese when it is generally 3.8% sawdust.

A Parting Shot: